Barbara Stanny grew up never worrying about money. As daughter to one of the founders of H&R Block, first her father, and then later her husband managed her money and cared for her. Then in mid-life a devastating financial crisis that eventually led to the break up of her marriage woke her from this fairy tale. She came to the harsh realization that Prince Charming wasn’t coming to rescue her, and that she needed to take responsibility for her own financial life. And yet, in spite of the dire necessity to take on this responsibility she struggled with great fear at doing so. She was filled with self-doubt wondering, “If I’m so smart, why am I so dumb about money?”
Barbara Stanny grew up never worrying about money. As daughter to one of the founders of H&R Block, first her father, and then later her husband managed her money and cared for her. Then in mid-life a devastating financial crisis that eventually led to the break up of her marriage woke her from this fairy tale. She came to the harsh realization that Prince Charming wasn’t coming to rescue her, and that she needed to take responsibility for her own financial life. And yet, in spite of the dire necessity to take on this responsibility she struggled with great fear at doing so. She was filled with self-doubt wondering, “If I’m so smart, why am I so dumb about money?”
This is not a book about the mechanics of financial management or investing, though it does provide some guidance on these matters. The mechanics are straightforward but what Stanny deals primarily with is the deeper issue of why so many women are paralyzed at taking responsibility for their own finances. This may be partly a generational issue. Stanny’s father was a clear breadwinner who made all the financial decisions for the family. She trusted him and he took care of her, but he never taught her how to be responsible or knowledgeable about financial management. But it is a relevant message to many, many women today.
The book is divided into three parts. The first section is a very transparent recounting of her story. She describes how she came to the painful realization that in spite of being from one of the most prestigious families in the world of financial management that she didn’t know anything about finances. This powerful section will cause many, both men and women, to see in her story the roots of their own inability to assume responsibility and their own captivity to self-doubt and fear.
The second part of the book outlines the process for taking responsibility by describing six realizations. These insights emerged out of interviews with women from a variety of situations who were similarly struggling. These realizations form a mental and emotional path toward financial responsibility.
- Realization #1: No One Will Do This for Me
- Realization #2: Learning Follows a Curve
- Realization #3: All the Answers Aren’t Out There
- Realization #4: There Are No Secrets
- Realization #5: Risk is Not a Synonym for Loss
- Realization #6: I Don’t Have to Do This Alone
The final section describes a final realization, the power of a financially responsible and savvy woman. Such a woman can live purposefully through her entrepreneurship and philanthropy to make a difference.
Though written for women, Stanny’s message should resonate with men as well. With increasing pressure to manage finances well in the midst of dizzying complexity, it can be paralyzing to be proactive in these responsibilities. For couples, this book is an excellent conversation starter for discussing how to prepare both husband and wife for these responsibilities. Experts in estate planning all too often see wives not prepared for the financial management of an estate, no matter how big or small, when the husband dies. And it is a valuable read for parents and their children to help young people be better prepared to assume the duties of their own financial management.
